Note 1: I'm making the Doctor having loved Rose and Martha as daughters instead of possible lovers; The Doctor couldn't fix Jack's non-dying problem but he did fix it so that Jack wouldn't age anymore. Master survived the bulled wound, Yeah that bulled wound was so sad Doctor fixed the majority of the insanity, and he agreed to travel with the Doctor for a while. Good thing he finally thought to do something about that after knowing him for centuries and never doing anything about it. Maybe the Doctor like the master being evil before that but the paradox machine was just too much so he figured he might as well fix something the entire race of the time lords never did anything about?
Note 2: Jon(the clone) stopped aging at 18 for reasons even the Asgard can't figure out, all they know is that its something the Loki did but didn't write down in his notes, Loki manages to figure out how to make clones that don`t age but he doesn`t make a note of it? I know when I find a solution to something that is dooming my entire species I often forget to make note of it or share Jon's proper age would now be around 23(that's going by him being 16 at the time of clone creation in 2000). If we`re going by years of experience and not physical years shouldn`t the original Jack years be included? Also I'm going to pretend that if the Ancient gene is super strong and super active it dramatically slows down aging once you start using it, um...i`m not a geneticist but i`m pretty sure you use your genes all the time thus John Sheppard won't look older than 40 for a very long time, if ever after the Doctor fiddles with things. Also all the ascending has effected Daniel's aging process and slowed it down dramatically. The three of them don't have the exact same life span but its very close now. No it`s not, you just said Jon doesn`t age.
Note 3: Rewrite of Stargate:Atlantis season 2 has them defeating the majority of the Wraith around then and turning the city into a colony with its own rules and constitution. That was in no way a cheap shortcut. Well, at least not cheaper than a non-aging clone for a non-specific reason
No fic has ever started well with three notes explaining why the fic is non-canon. Non-canonical and a/u fic can work. A 'by the way this is set in an alternate universe where everyone owns a penguin' is a nice addition to let people know they are about to be reading fic filled with penguins (I know if I really really really hated penguins I would want to know if there were lots of penguins in a fic) or something. You do not add in exposition that should be included in the fic itself.
It always makes me think the author needed to write down their ideas so they didn`t forget them. Not that I`m saying that is the case here, but honestly, doesn`t it look that way?
Not Beta'd but did run spelling check. Let me know if you are interested in being beta for a Doctor Who/Torchwood/SGA fic.
Why didn`t I pay attention to that bit? When did 'but did run a spelling check' start to become some kind of special favour authors did when they wanted to be nice?
The Doctor licked his ice cream semi-happily I assume this is like a really veiled reference to Eric the half a Bee because otherwise it`s just bad writing and a crap opening sentence as he walked along the park's jogging path. It's not that there was anything wrong with the ice cream, it's just that he thoughts Are he thoughts some kind of Time Lord thing or just another example of why spell checking without a beta is cruel? were thousands of miles away in Cardiff. I`m sorry but honestly, thousands of miles away? He has a TARDIS! He could be millions of years away on the other side of the universe! And how about a location for the Doctor past 'the park' Unless the world only has one real park. Having a country, at the very least, to go along with it would be nice That's were BETAS SHOULD NEVER BE OPTIONAL Captain Jack Harkness was getting married to his love, Ianto Jones. They had been together for almost a year, ever since Jack had gone back to Torchwood. Really it was time for them to tie the knot but it still hurt a bit. um...why is it time to tie the knot? Is there some standard time to be sleeping with someone on Gallifrey, in the 51st century and the 21st century before getting married? Not that the Doctor really gave Jack a choice when he just kept pushing him away and this was for the better, anyway. Now if only the Doctor could convince both his hearts what his head knew, although he had to admit he's BETAAAAAAAAAAAA hearts were trying just as hard to convince his head that Jack was the one for him. Soon it wouldn't matter because Jack would be happily married and no matter what that's what The Doctor wants for Jack, to be happy. Ugliness of that sentence aside, he`s a Time Lord, Jack is immortal. Ianto, lovely as he is, not immortal or all that much of a time traveler. The Doctor just needs to wait around for a bit, or travel to the future and Jack`ll be single again Glancing over to his left he saw his fellow TimeLord *pokes at missing space between Time and Lord* enjoying a hot fudge sundae in a waffle cone and shook his head at the chocolate smears all of his face. He was just about the pass The Master a napkin when he heard someone screaming for help. Tossing his ice cream cone away The Doctor raced towards the sound. The Master pouted for about a half second before he decided to run with the ice cream right behind the Doctor. I`m really glad he stops being The Doctor here and becomes the Doctor so I`m not going to complain about the bits before
The Doctor spotted a young teenage boy being forced by what were obvious military goons into a black unmarked van, Ah the obvious military goons with black unmarked vans how very cliche. He glanced to his left and saw The Master finish the last of his ice cream cone before wiping his hands clean and looking around the scene. At quick nod they both removed their screw drivers and with the setting on stun went to work on stunning all the apparent bad guys. If you`re going to write something that silly at least write screwdriver right. Also when did the Doctor go around making assumptions like that? I mean the really stupid kind. Military goons don`t typically go around abducting kids for the hell of it. If we had random kidnappers, I`d get it, but one might assume that there was more to the teenage boy than met the eye, he is The Doctor after all, he does run into weird stuff the whole time He really did need to talk with The Master about that gleeful giggle while shooting at people, it just wasn't very heroic, much to villainous. Within a minute though they had everyone but the young boy stunned and on the ground. Quickly they made there way over to the boy. oO Not a word of dialogue...how very...silly
"Are you okay, young man?"
"I'm not that young! Sorry, I mean thank you for the rescue. I'm Jonathon Jackson O'Neill and really I just turned twenty-three last week!"
The Master just snickered at the young man's insult about his age. Wait...John insulted his age? I missed that The Doctor shot him a glare before turning back to the boy, Jonathon. Thought he might have been turning back to some other boy like Phil or Ed
"Is that any relation to Jack O'Neill who works with SG1, is that why NID want you?" Oh for fuck sakes! NO NO NO NO NO! I am willing to buy that the Doctor know about the stargate, I am also willing to take that as a pathetic way of identifying a vague possible location for the scene, but even if he was standing right the fuck in front of the SGC why the fuck would he immediately assume that just because his last name was O'Neill that he was related to Jack O'Neill? At this point Jon could still be a bloody escaping alien, and if we`re in the Springs (I assume to be nice and still it doesn`t help) military picking up evil aliens would make more sense than random abductions in the park. Come to think of it, who the hell swarms a teenage boy in a park? There`s people eating ice cream, think they won`t notice? People tend to notice things like that! the Doctor has also figured out which military group is after him, is it just the NID that has black vans?
"Err, he's um, my uncle. Yeah I can totally see Jack O'Neill not having his cover story down by now And wait how do you know SG1 or and NID?" The boy started to back up thinking maybe this was another group after him. Yeah, the stunning screwdrivers didn`t worry him but someone who knows Jack O'Neill also knowing about the SGC worries him, though eating ice cream is a really good 'I`m not following you or about to abduct you' plan
"Oh calm down, kid, like he'd ever hurt you. Please, I can't even get him to kill the damn mouse that is driving me nuts inside the TARDIS!" This reminds me of the time this guy tried to pick me up in a train station in the middle of the night while I was waiting for a train. He kept on saying 'I`m not a rapist or a murderer' totally believed him too.
"That mouse has a right to live! Couldn`t he find an humane mouse trap? Just cause ick your double ick afraid of mice doesn't mean I have to kill it!" Again, humane mouse trap, then drop it off somewhere otherwise you`re going to end up with mouse eaten holes in your nifty clothes and then one day you`ll find a dead mouse somewhere, which is never fun. why would there be a mouse in the tardis? couldn't he just phase the tardis out without the mouse? that's what he did with that girl and larry. damn good point that
"I AM NOT AFRAID OF A MOUSE!" Two mice on the other hand
"You are so afraid of it! You jumped on top of the counter and shrieked like a girl!"
"I DID NOT" I have believe to the Master here. If he saw a mouse and was scared he would incinerate it with his screwdriver not whine until someone else killed it. We are still talking about a man who killed over 600 000 00 people just because decimate is a nice word, no matter how mostly fixed he is he would still bloody well kill a mouse.
"DID TOO"
"DID NOT"
"DID TOO"
"DID TOO"
"DID NOT"
"DID TOO" It`s weird how capital lock screaming never makes me think of screaming but it does give me a headache
"Um, guys do you mind, I'd rather be long gone before these guys awaken. Jack saying awaken *shudders* So I take it your Has 'your' or 'you`re' been used right once so far? aliens and that's how you know SG1, but of course? cause you mentioned a ship. Maybe we should head there because obviously I can't go back to my place since these guys are here at my work Dude! Jon`s a rent boy! then I'm sure they are at my home too," interrupted the young man, who was trying to hide a smile at their bickering. He did lean down and grab his backpack back from one of NID agents. Nothing is right about those...I can`t call them sentences, is there a word for them? I do like that they are officially NID, nice how that happened. Wait, not nice, the opposite of that.
"True, smart thinking, over this way, then." Except for the bit about accepting a ride from strange aliens
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bet that sounds like the God machine on The Daily Show
The Doctor quickly lead the way back to his nearby TARDIS. Jonathon stared at it for a second before quickly getting inside. Rent boys do not trust that quickly The Master and The Doctor looked at each other and shrugged, it was kinda refreshing to have a human who didn't comment about the police box or that it was bigger inside. They both walked in and firmly locked the doors The TARDIS can be lightly locked? so that nobody could accidentally get inside. Not sure that happens all that often, ever even.
"Um, hey guys, there a beeping light over here on something that looks like an answering machine." Okay...you don`t want to write 'why is it a blue box' or make a blue box joke, or have Jon notice how awesome the TARDIS is but does his only comment on the TARDIS have to be 'looks like you have a message'?
"That would be because it is an answering machine." Duh, if it looks like a wooden police box then it`s...oh wait The Doctor walked over and picked up a headset listening to it play the message back. He gasped when heard the message and quickly threw down the set. *gags* "Hold on everyone, we need to get to Cardiff right away. Sorry about this Jonathon, afterward I'll take you where you want, but right now a friend needs me badly." We get it, you want an excuse to have Jon in Cardiff and you can`t be bothered to think up a better one. Like, I dunno, a vacation and ends up at Roald Dahl Plass for the fun of it, where he meets the Doctor not being a bitch and skipping the wedding. The Doctor quickly scrambled over to the controls and started programing Is programming Canadian English? it right away. The Master quickly strapped Jonathon to a seat since he wasn't used to a bumpy ride and that way he wouldn't hurt his fragile human body. If this doesn`t have him yelling 'Rape' nothing will Then The Master moved over to The Doctor's side. Thank goodness we have exact locations now, that whole 'We could be anywhere' thing was annoying...actually this could be more annoying
"Okay, Doctor what's going, why are we going back to Cardiff like the TARDIS was on fire. Why would they go to Cardiff if the TARDIS was on fire? I know we don't need fuel, we did that just last week and it still shows plenty. Does the TARDIS often leave messages about fuel consumption? So then something must have happened at Torchwood, what's going on?" Yeah of course Torchwood and not the rift or nothing... The Master gripped a railing just as the TARDIS started shaking and took off. Um...The TARDIS shakes for a quick jaunt over the pond? `Cause if it`s that hard to get to Cardiff you`d expect going to the end of the universe with a fact stuck on the outside would make it explode
"Oh no, nothing exactly like that, Just something slightly like that? all though I am tempted to blow up Torchwood. The message was from our Captain Jack. I know the Master tortured Jack for a year and kept him in chains and stuff, but the Doctor calling Jack theirs is kinda...weird and icky It seems that bastard, Ianto Jones, left him at the alter! So it is exactly like something happened at Torchwood And for a woman, Oh guy mod, a bi guy still liking a woman! not just any woman but GWEN COOPER! Did we really need all caps there? The answer is no. Would it be better if it was some bint he met in a bar the night before? That bitch who also works for Jack, apparently they have been sneaking around behind his since the very start, they started seeing each other while he was traveling with me and just never broke it off. Also, Toshiko, who Jack thought of as his little sister and who he asked to be the maid of honor, knew the entire time and never said anything! The only one out of the entire Torchwood 3 that didn't betray Jack was Owen Harper and the pet, Myfawny. That was a pretty long message. there are so many things wrong with that sentence Needless to say, Jack was almost hysterical on the phone, Good thing he wasn`t hysterical or we wouldn`t have gotten all that detail I can just hope he won't try to commit suicide a few times before we get there." lol suicide, that`s great, or pointless and kinda unbelievable, I forget which. I do find it strange that the Captain Harkness would end up suicidal over a broken heart.
"WHAT?! You should call the local cops then!" shouted Jonathon. How would that be a better plan? Do Cardiff police cars arrive faster than space ships? If they do I`m moving to Cardiff
"Why? What oh no there is no reason, see Jack has this thing were he can't die. And so occasionally when he gets really depressed he just commit suicide repeatedly. Riiiiiight.... We had broken him of that habit until this disaster! ...That ! hurts, and technically we don`t know that his suicide habit is back. Also, is it still called suicide if you can`t die? I just want to kill them all with my bare hands, those fuckers, how dare that hurt Jack like that," growled The Doctor. I know that Doctor Who is a family show so he`s not about to swear, but even still, can you see the Doctor swearing?
The Master sighed and shook his head, it was about time that the other timelord Oooo a new spelling figured out important Jack was to them, So important they should make him a cell on the TARDIS? he was just sorry it took Jack getting so hurt to do it. Reaching out he placed his hand a top The Doctors and squeezed it gently, which got him a small smile. I get this is saner Master, but does he have to be completely castrated? Make your own original Time Lord if he`s going to be this ooc. Then they were landing with a thud. The Master walked over and quickly helped undo the straps on Jonathon. Who was just so happy not to be raped or eviscerated or both at the same time he said nothing They all filed to the door as the Doctor unlocked it and peeked out. He nodded and they exited quickly. We`re talking about a man who cheerfully bounded out to look at the end of the universe, Cardiff makes him nervous
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Is that what a weeble key does?
The TARDIS had parked them behind some large bushes and trees in a park, The Tardis sure loves parks. At least Jon will be able to make some traveling cash if he needs to where just on the other side was the set-up for a lovely outdoor wedding. Well it would have been lovely if you didn't know all the betrayal behind it. That whole bit could have been scrapped and the world would have been a slightly better place.
They had managed to arrive about five minutes after Jack's frantic phone call Jack faces Abandon just fine, getting dumped by his boyfriend makes him frantic, they don`t make time agents like they used to and so everyone was still there. Who`s left at the altar and decides to wait around? Who waits around after leaving someone at the altar? Not to BETA! surprisingly Owen was trying to comfort Jack, after all he was the only one who hadn't betrayed him. He did shoot him that one time. Never mind, we can move on, course Owen is still an utter prat so I`m not seeing Owen being big on the comfort as much as he would be big on the leaving to go get a drink So Owen and Jack were sitting together in some chairs at the front on the left side. Yeah, no locations was better Gwen was sitting on Ianto's lap who was sitting on one of the Groom's throne's that was set up at the front. I know that it`s 'not to surprising' but can we get something else on why anyone would stick around for that? Poor Jack every time he raised his head he saw them and the empty throne he should have been sitting on, it was like another dagger to his heart. Somewhere in that sentence our author got lost, a beta could have found her but she didn`t get one and so there it is Toshiko was kinda standing in between trying to decide what to do, but as far as Jack was concerned she'd already picked her side by not telling him long before the wedding day. Instead he had to find out when the priest asked if anyone had any objections to speak now, and Gwen shot up and announced her love for Ianto and then even more shocking was Ianto saying he loved her back and to get her ass up there and marry him. Six people does not a lovely park wedding make Jack had fallen to his knees in pain and shock, Owen had helped to sidelines and into a seat. And tried to distract Jack but he heard the ceremony start over as Ianto and Gwen got married. Yeah he`d totally stick around for that. I know if someone I loved had just dumped me I would want to be at their wedding It was some small comfort that the guests There were guests? all left, most didn't stay even to see Ianto and Gwen's ceremony, I know that lots of religious folk enjoy trying to turn gay people straight, but I`m still not seeing anyone performing that marriage even Ianto's parents were furious and left in anger at their son's behavior. While they hadn't been happy he was gay, they had like Jack, and still even then there was a much better way to break-up with a person! Um..right...
"Jack, I, we got here as fast as we could." The Doctor spoke, pointing at himself and the Master. Yes, we, us two, Doctor and the Master. Since you`re clearly the kind of idiot that hangs around after being dumped to watch your boyfriend get married thought I`d point us out to you
Jack did notice a teen behind him but that would be something to figure out later. It`s a park and a wedding, wouldn`t there be lots of people or does Jack figure out everyone? Instead right now all he wanted to do was crawl into the TimeLord's arms, Back to TimeLord didn't care which one, I would go for the one who hadn`t tortured me and sob his heart out. Both the Master and the Doctor quickly walked over to where Jack was knelt down next to him. I`m going to get tired of saying BETA! eventually but not yet He launched himself into The Doctor's arms but he did reach for the Master's hand, who squeezed his hand gently. Ah yes, the comforting hand of a man who held you prisoner for a year The Doctor just settled him sideways on his lap and rub his back gently rocking. uh-huh...That`s what I would do Within moments Jack was sobbing away hysterically. The Master moved slightly so that the he facing the Doctor and they could sandwich Jack between them. Who does this at a screwed up park wedding? It was breaking their hearts to see Jack so distraught and not really able to do much to stop the pain. So they just settled for rocking him and rubbing his back and scalp. If I ever get left at the altar I`d punch anyone who did that to me
Jonathon shook his head listening to the poor man cry in so much pain. He couldn't imagine not only having what you thought was the love of your life hurt you but then to find out that most of your work team betrayed you. I like how Jon knows that Jack doesn`t have a dozen other people on his team, psychic Jon makes me happy though He walked over and took one of the empty seats near the three men, just to stand guard. He glanced up as the man Jack had been seating with when they walked in took a seat next to Jonathon.
"Hello, I'm Owen Harper and I've just had my world view torn apart. what does that even mean? And you are?" Owen held out his hand which Jon shook. You are kidding me right? This is some kind of weird a/u or something `cause if this is how ooc the first 5 characters introduced we do not need three more. But noooo we get at least Tosh, Gwen and Ianto before adding on more SG characters
"I'm Jonathon Jackson O'Neill, I'm a clone of the famous SG1 leaded Jack O'Neill, Jack`s famous in Cardiff? the famous SG1 leaded Jack O'Neill what the? i'm going to go with that ought to be "SG1-led" and it's still stupid even "fixed" only they messed up the clone cause first I was too young, 16, and then once I turned 18 all aging stopped. Didn`t we have a cover story? Or is 'man I know nothing about' just that much more trustworthy than 'guys who save me from be abducted'? The Asgard don't know how Loki made the changes he did but whatever it was is irreversible. And I`m sure you know all about the Asgard and who Loki is So ever since the NID want me to testing on to the hell? i don't think a beta would be enough for this fic, it just needs another author find the fountain of youth. Not that you would want me, `cause you`re someone I don`t know The Doctor and Master saved me from a kidnapping attempt just before we got here. So how was your world torn apart?" 'I`m not a crazy person by the way, I just randomly blurt out my highly improbable life story to random people who I know nothing about.' Maybe exposition in the author`s notes isn`t a bad idea...
"Oh it wasn't anywhere near torn apart as poor Jack's or even yous BEEEEEEETAAAAAAAA it seems, but I still am hurt. I totally believe that Norse mythological characters cloned you by the way See I had no clue about Ianto and Gwen, first if I had I certainly would have told Jack, I may not always like or agree with him but this was going way too far. Like omg it totally is Plus I was sorta seeing Gwen ever since she broke-up with her last boyfriend, Rhys. I thought I was the only man in her life and was seriously thinking about asking her to marry me, No he wasn`t, this is Owen, he can`t tell he`s in love when he`s head over heels I've been carrying a ring around in my pocket for the last week. the only way owen would say something like that is if he was talking about a cock ring I guess maybe part of subconscious knew and was preventing me from actually asking her." Or the fact Owen would never ask Gwen to marry him, or the fact that he knows she cheats on people she loves.
"Um, Owen, it was probably more than your subconscious. See about a month and half ago you discovered Gwen and Ianto having sex in your loft; apparently you started shouting absolutely furious and you also demand that Jack know; and for some reason they couldn't have that happen so they used RetCon Woo RetCon on you." Right... Toshiko spoke-up softly from the chair nearby that she'd finally sat down on. "I'm sorry Owen, I didn't realize you and Gwen were still having a thing together or I would have said something." oO "Why should I believe you?! You never said a word to poor Jack and he thinks, or at least thought, of you like his little sister!" Stop calling Jack poor! It`s creepy!
"Well you didn't deserve it, but Jack did!" Yeah doesn`t deserve to sleep with someone he knew was cheating with him in return sleep with someone else. Especially not when he was having sex with someone else too.
"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT JACK DESERVED THIS?!" shouted Owen jumping to his feet. More cap screaming, course this time it`s caps screaming and 'shouted Owen' you`d think one would be enough.
This caused Jack to stop crying for a moment in shock and just stare at Toshiko. Totally how being so heartbroken you cry in the middle of a wedding in a park works The Master and The Doctor also stared at the girl, both were getting their hands on their screwdrivers just in case. In case of what? I shouldn`t complain they have screwdrivers
"Toshiko!" Shouted Gwen from her place on Ianto's lap. Why are they just sitting there?
"Aww, come on, the wedding's over, can't I tell them now?" whined Toshiko. Does anyone else remember when a few paragraphs ago Toshiko was still decided what to do?
"Oh, alright, go ahead," smirked Gwen as she settled back on Ianto's lap. When did she get up?
"See, we started planning this right before Jack got back. We decided it was time for Captain Jack Harkness to pay! mwahahahaha He had destroyed our love lives without even a second thought and now it was his turn to have his heart ripped out. Don`t most people just quit? I really loved that girl, I can`t remember her name, and most of the relationship made me feel like shit but it was true love man I know she could have been saved, I didn`t mention it at the time, but yeah man but know Jack sent her to the center of the sun killing her or at the very least damning her to torture for the rest of her life since there is no way to retrieve her. I`m going to go with killing her, being in the sun, even at night, tends to do that to everything I'm sure I could have talked her into only killing criminals, rapists, or child molesters, we`d just go to the criminal, rapists and child molesters store and pick up a few. all criminals need killing after all. she only needed a heart every couple months, that's not a lot, yeah...every couple of months forever, not long at all not after we figured out how to keep her female form. that was problem? But know Captain Jack Harkness got play judge, jury, and executioner to the love of my life! Oh guy mod, Toshiko was still in love with Owen the whole bloody time! Sex does immediately equal the love of people`s lives. If she was so in love wouldn`t she have kept that necklace since it was the only present her true love gave her? Then there is poor Ianto, who was just trying to save his love after the mess at Canary Wharf, I'm sure that he could have eventually found a way around the cyberman programming, Not really sure how since she was on the freakin` loose and killing people but sure, he could ask her nicely to go lie down for a while so what if she had killed a couple people, not like that pizza delivery girl would have amounted to much, They could have given her criminals, rapists and child molesters to kill besides it's not like Captain Jack Harkness never killed anyone but he gets to live, not poor Lisa, One difference I can see between the two, Lisa working on turning everyone into cybermen who he shot and killed in front of Ianto, after yelling at Ianto for not killing her himself. Not everyone is a heartless at BEEETAAAA Captain Jack Harkness and can kill the love of their life! And then there was Gwen, who any time she wanted some alone time with Rhys, then Jack seemed to need her at Torchwood until Rhy couldn't take it any longer, especially after mess with Abaddon, Couldn`t Gwen quit so she would have more time with Rhy? I mean Rhys? so then Jack forced Gwen to use RetCon Why is it RetCon? Does our author not have access to google? on Rhys to forget all about Torchwood. He didn`t know anything about Torchwood He did but he didn't forget about learning she had sex with Owen, since the Captain had opened his big mouth! Rhy, whoops I mean Rhys had already forgotten about that, could he just re-forget that too? Gwen was only human and needed some physical comfort from Owen, but thanks to the Captain's influence Rhys only saw it as cheating! Um...that is the definition of cheating So, the three of us compared notes and saw that our love lives were in ruins thanks to Captain Jack Harkness. Right... So we decided it was time to get some payback! We had everything planned, down the moment where Gwen stood up at got married instead!" with that Toshiko threw her head back and laughed. I love a good evil laugh, I have a good evil laugh, I use my evil laugh. Not sure I could ever see Toshiko evil laughing. For any reason
Frowning the Doctor and the Master nodded and stood so fast humans couldn't see it They can do what now? and they stunned Toshiko, Gwen and Ianto. Uh huh...wouldn`t that have been a better plan earlier one?
"What the bloody hell?!" shouted Owen. Dude! That`s how I feel!
"Sorry, but I think there might be alien parasite that feeds off pain, hate and rage in possession of at least one of them. Of course...the Doctor`s parasite sense This wasn't really normal behavior for any of them was it?" asked the Doctor. I`m sure he would know oO
Both Owen and Jack shook their heads. Useful thing this random not crying followed by hysterics
"I never told Gwen to use RetCon I really like retcon too...good word that on Rhys, never! Never EVER! And I also never called Gwen in on her days off unless it was a huge emergency, she used to come in all on her own!" said Jack, he was rocking back and forth, he'd pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Captain Harkness does not handle life by rocking back and forth. i think the doctors should stun jack, because he's obviously been taken over by some alien also, i mean... rocking back and forth? some sissy boy alien parasite is taking over jack He really would have killed himself by now if he thought it would take but what's the point when he'd just come back to life. It is really annoying to see suicidal depression written this stupidly "I never would want someone to loose something as precious as love! NEVER!" Never EVER!
The Master and The Doctor exchanged another look before they nodded and went to seperate Is separate Canadian too? tasks. The Master quickly scrambled back over to Jack and pulled him on to his lap stroking his hair. No no no no no make it stop!
"Shh, Jack, handsome Jack, it's not your fault. Nothing you've done deserves this, they aren't thinking clearly, something is twisting they're That`s new, why don`t people who can`t tell the difference just pick a there and use the one? thinking. Shh, it's not your fault, I promise. Your *you`re too*...i guess a good person, a very good person, you've done things and saved more people, even this world, then they will ever know. It's not your fault, my sweet boy. If it's anyones *pokes* This was spellchecked? fault beside theirs, it might be mine and the doctor's because we let you leave Is that supposed to be live? in the first place. Well not this time. Your coming back to the TARDIS with us and your staying with us permanently!" That is disturbing on so many levels. The Master continued to rock the crying Jack, stroking the side of his face. The Master should never comfort anyone, ever.
The Doctor smiled over at his lover comforting Jack That`s fairly kinky before turning back to the three they had stunned. He scanned them with the screwdriver and sighed at what he found. Only two of three people had the parasite in them; this was going to hurt poor Jack even more. Using a special setting Unlike the unspecial settings on his screwdriver the Doctor zapped all three people; he zapped the third out of revenge cause it was a pretty painful zap. He scanned Owen just to be on the safe side. They`re 'stunned' why would zapping 'stunned' person hurt? "Interesting, Owen, looks they tried to infect you but something in your DNA makes you resistant. Right..the parasite was controlling them and he can tell that there is 'something' in his DNA that`s resistant but not what it is specifically, makes sense Now I've got good news and bad news to give. The good news is that I've cured them of the parasite and there is no way for it re-infect them. Useful that Bad news, only two of these three people were infected with the parasite. I`m telling you because the truth is very important, course Jack your apparent fragile mental state makes the truth all the more important I'm sorry but one of them did all the horrible yeah...horrible stuff out of their own free will. Who could it be? Tune in next week to find out Jack, I'm so very sorry but Toshiko was acting on her own Freewill Woo Freewill! and she was also the one who infected the others with the parasite." I`m willing to go with sonic screwdriver that fixes everything without complaint, sonic screwdriver that reveal evil plans is just taking an idea too far, waaaay too far.
"Could you have her sent to a cages at Torchwood's main office, Only if he dismembers her first along with a note to go on the outside of the cage explaining everything and my cell phone number?" I can totally see Toshiko arriving at the 'main office' with a note in hand saying 'stick this on her cage' asked a pained Owen.
"Not a problem and her stunning will wear off in about an hour or so." The Doctor had Owen write a note and quickly transported Toshiko and note to Torchwood's main office. Transport her with a special screwdriver setting, the 'transport to place that doesn`t exist'
About two minutes later Owen's cell phone was ringing Don`t you just love the random missing dialogue? and he stepped away to explain everything. The Doctor turned his screwdriver back on Gwen and Ianto to unstun them. Right...unstun... Gwen quickly scrambled off Ianto's lap in shock. Wow, he stunned them without letting Gwen fall They both turned and looked at the sobbing Jack who the Master was still trying to soothe after finding out that Toshiko was the start of all this pain and that she hated him that much when he loved her like a baby sister. This is why you don`t mention that to Jack, who is apparently a total girl. It was very little comfort that Ianto and Gwen were being controlled by a parasite, there See? Much better chance if you just stick to one choice words and actions still hurt him deeply. He`ll forgive Owen shooting him but not parasite controlled people? The Doctor turned away from them and walked back over to the Master and Jack. There he sat down on the ground and within seconds Jack had thrown himself into the Doctor's lap sobbing. Stop crying you big baby! Singing softly so that only Jack and the Master could understand the words The Doctor sang a lullaby from Gallifrey. *shudder* Since the tune had a psychic part Of course it did with in a minute of signing Jack had calmed down and stopped crying, He couldn`t have done that earlier? While people were unconscious? at least for now. Ianto slowly approached the three of them. Jonathon stood up and moved closer so he could protect his new friends if need be. Unless we missed a lot of dialogue in that part where there was none he has made no new friends.
"Jack, I'm sorry doesn't even begin to cover it. But know I am sorry. I'm sorry you got hurt so very badly. That would totally be my reaction to being parasite controlled, then stunned, de-parasited, and unstunned I'm glad it looks like you'll be taking some time off to travel, He is? that's good. I guess it is... I'm going to take some time off to think, Are you sure you think? I`m not sure this Ianto thinks maybe go visit my parents, apologize for the mess of today. Do call them later, cause they really do like you, After he`s done with his 'travels' he might just do that I'd say the like you more than me right at this moment. I`d say the too but it would`t mean anything They'll worry if they don't hear from you, so occasionally either stop into see them or call them. Man Ianto has got his priorities in order I wish I could tell you that I'd like to date and get to know you all over again, but that would be a lie, and you've been lied to enough. I'm sorry Jack but I'm completely heterosexual. Right, Torchwood is full of non-omnisexuals, oh wait, it isn`t! wait, ianto is totally het? how the hell long was he on that parasite?' I feel like I need a good long shower and some extra strength mouth wash, it just not my nature, Good thing Ianto feels bad for Jack, imagine what he would have said if he was pissed I'm sorry that you got lead on. When will this end? Please let it be soon. Let me know if your going to be coming back to work or not, cause if you are I'll need to put in for a transfer, because I can't work with you anymore, sorry. Ianto has planned not only a vacation but retirement all without word one from Jack, who is being mass cuddled while he sits mutely covered in tears Hope you do find love and happiness. Have a good life, Jack but don't contact me anymore." Right...totally what I would say if I was...y`know what I can`t be bothered. Too stupid. With that Ianto walked away without looking back.
Through the entire time Ianto was talking Jack felt the tiny bit of hope that he'd be holding since he learned of the parasite, just shatter and get crushed. Then get sliced to bits and smooshed The fact that he'd lost Ianto as a friend and employee hurt almost as much as losing Ianto the lover. Ew! They were getting married, but oh know I`m going to need to find a new teaboy. As Ianto walked away Jack felt that a tiny piece of his heart would always be with him. If this is how Jack reacts to the end of every relationship no wonder he`s a basket case. But then he heard The Master muttering and The Doctor talking a very soothing voice about why killing was wrong and why he couldn't just kill Ianto. This made Jack have to smile knowing both of them cared, The Master cared enough to kill and The Doctor cared enough to prevent the Master from killing even though the Doctor also wanted to kill Ianto. I would say this is the worst sentence in the fic, but I doubt it. He was dragged from his thoughts by a female voice clearing her throat and looked up to see Gwen standing in front of him. He felt the men behind him tense again and relaxed knowing they would protect him. From what? She`s parasite free and according to Jack and Owen, being a bitch is out of character for her. Come to think of it, how did Tosh get pain eating parasites? Wouldn`t the team be on the look out for parasites if they knew there were parasites on the loose?
"Well, Jack, I'd like to say I'm sorry, but I can't. Nope, Gwen`s just a bitch. She takes someone who tried to kill her on a road trip, but someone heartbroken she`s going to be bitchy to After all you did do a lot of Toshiko accused you of, maybe now you'll think before you play with someone elses I totally don`t believe this was spellchecked love life. Wait, who`s love life did Jack play with? And also Jack I suggest you go see a priest I know Gwen knows a priest? How? Why? When? right away so that you aren't sent to hell, The hell that doesn`t exist in Torchwood canon or the hell Jack won`t go to because he won`t die? he's been very successful at stopping people from being homosexuals. It's not late for you be saved, Jack. Maybe this thing that keeps you from dying is Gods way of helping prevent you from going to hell God is always doing things like that, so it make sense? but you also need to take the steps. I really know the priest can save you Jack! Ah Gwen spouting of religion, I always love those scenes since they never ever happened I plan to tell Ianto about him so he can cleansed of the things he was forced to do with you by that parasite. Do parasite controlled actions require cleansing? I will pray for you Jack, I'll pray long and hard for you. Gwen prays? However, until you repent I can't work for you and will be talking with Torchwood's main office. Jack was flirting with Ianto the first time she met them and it`s now that she`s a weird religious nut? I'm afraid I'll have to tell them about the fact that your I think I`m bored of typing beta now... a homosexual Jack. It's my duty," Um...why would she think they wouldn`t know? It`s Jack he flirts with everyone? Course since head office doesn`t exist I guess he couldn`t have flirted with them... Gwen was about keep going BETAAAAAA, guess I had one more in me when Owen showed up and interrupted her. `Cause everyone else was a mute
Jack had started to cry again Of course he did, he`s a freakin` girl. at the painful words Gwen was throwing at him, he'd always thought they had a special connection since he was the one who trained and hired her. Yeah but apparently her freaky religious part he never noticed not even when he was flirting with everyone and telling her about ex-boyfriends Both the Master and the Doctor back to the Doctor and finally a the Master were relieved when Owen shut the girl up because they were both getting close to killing her with their screwdrivers. How exactly did he do that? Couldn`t they have just said shut up? Or I dunno, left. They do have a space ship that travels through space and time.
"Shut-up Gwen, are you that stupid? More so even Torchwood already knows about Jack's sexual preference You mean his preference for having sex? and has known since he started working at the very start of Torchwood. I didn`t notice him there...I remember Queen Victoria was there, no Jack though They knew even when it wasn't social acceptable Dude! They knew that sleeping with everything that moves wasn`t social acceptable? They are the smartest ever. but they also knew that he was the best at his job so they looked the other way. I think here we have Torchwood confused with the American military And they kept looking the other way until the 1990's when it was okay for them to show openly that they knew. At this point I would like to direct you to 'The Sound of the Drums' If you paid attention to the job application you'd have noticed there were three boxes under sexual identity: Heterosexual, Homosexual, and Bisexual. You know Jack would have checked all three. Wait...she filled out a job application? That's not so they can only hire heterosexuals, but so they who can do what type of assignments. Huh? Sometimes sexuality comes into play on either undercover assignments or greeting new aliens to this planet. So Torchwood wanted prostitutes of every Earth based variety? I can't believe you agree with Toshiko! There was nothing wrong in what Jack did! Nothing in all! The only thing wrong is that we sometimes expected him to be superhuman, when in reality Jack is a man like the rest of us, except for the not dying thing. We put him up on a pedestal only to enjoy knocking him off it every chance we got, that was very unfair to Jack. Boring And Gwen human sexuality is a lot more complex than you or your bigoted little priest want to make it. Personally I believe everyone is bisexual, That`s not complex...that`s the opposite of complex I know I am. Also I know you've been with Toshiko The hell? When did that happen? before so I'm not sure where this high and mighty attitude of yours is coming from. Maybe you should think about finding a new church if its teaching you to hate and turning you into a evil version of yourself. Oh for the love of Pete Oh, by the way Gwen, the head office would like for you to come down there to discuss a few of the things they found on Toshiko's computer and your computer. Remember the parasite? Kinda makes a perfect explanation for everything And since you might try to run, Doctor could you zap her to the main office?" Right...the Doctor`s zappy screwdriver...Guess I just forgot all those close calls where the Doctor just zapped people away or himself away...
Gwen's mouth hung open in shock, both that Owen would talk to her in such a manner and at the words he was saying. Since when are words not related to manner? She was also shocked about what they found on the computer, she though she'd done a good job of hiding everything. So interesting what was 'it'? Wait I don`t care. With that With what? Gwen turned to run but before she got more than a foot away the Doctor has BETA! transported her to Torchwood's main headquarter interrogation room. My god that is a useful setting. He should use it more often
"Jack, I am sorry about things. Yeah those things sucked Not that is much comfort but Toshiko will be going to a Torchwood prison They have prisons? for a long time because it was high treason due to the fact she turned against her country by using those alien parasite things If using alien things is treason wouldn`t they all be guilty? but also by trying to cause a mutiny ...sigh.... to take you from your director position. The headquarters wishes for you to enjoy your vacation What vacation? Why are all these people making giant speeches?! and to take as long as you want, you've been on indefinite paid medical leave, oO medical leave? they said even if you don't come back until the next century that's fine, Torchwood knows he`s immortal but not that he`s knows a time traveller just please take care of yourself. Also she said to let the Doctor take care of you too, that he would be good for you." No...they do, right...Time travel means you can come back whenever
"Who's running Torchwood now?" The Doctor asked puzzled. An excellent question...mostly
"A Mrs.Sarah Jane Smith,one of your old companions I believe. No she`s not! She`s on a different spin off! And she`s a reporter! She also made it so your BETA! no longer considered an enemy of Torchwood but an allie. Not sure if that`s better or worse She's always had a soft spot for Jack and is very upset by these turn of events. I`m upset, but for different reasons I think Ianto may also be looking for a new line of work unless he grovels. `Cause he was infected by a parasite or because he was an ass while Owen wasn`t around? Anyway, the stuff on Gwen's computer show that she was planning something against Jack even before the parasite When gwen was parasited? How would they know when she was parasited and how that synched up with her comp stuff? and that the two women having been embezzling Torchwood funds. So why did Toshiko parasite her? BTW I`m enjoying using the word parasite in non-traditional ways I'm needed down at headquarters right away to help straighten out this mess that Toshiko started." Is that the Glasgow headquarters? Owen walked over and bent down giving a surprised Jack a hug. "Take care of yourself, Captain. Do keep in touch with me and let me know your doing alright. Again, when did he say he was leaving? He hasn`t said much I think I would remember it The Doctor has my cell phone number. Try to heal Owen would never ever ever say this! and let these two TimeLords How does he know they`re Time Lords? Why are we back to TimeLord? help you do that." Owen waved good-bye before hailing a taxi and driving out of sight. Couldn`t he take a van or let people say good-bye to him
"Well then, let's get going before the clean-up crew gets here, shall we?" spoke the Doctor. We shall, but of course. What`s up with 'spoke the Doctor'?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Double weeble key!
They all reached the TARDIS pretty quickly and without problems. Why didn`t we skip that sentence with the double weeble?
Jonathon had taken then end position That sound kinda kinky and kept his eyes and ears open for any hint of danger to the men that were rapidly becoming his family. What kind of danger? None of them can die and they all like to sit around and listen to lectures from dumb people quietly Since he was the last one inside he also locked the TARDIS just as he seen the Doctor do earlier, of course he did he smiled when it sounded like the TARDIS beeped a thank you. the TARDIS never does that. i can't believe the tardis is ooc, this has to be on purpose Once inside the TARDIS the Doctor and the Master helped Jack over to a couch that had just appeared in control area. Useful that The Master sat down since he wasn't need to drive the TARDIS and helped Jack lay down so that his head rested in The Master's lap, turned so he could also watch the Doctor work. I know I`ve said this already but, he tortured him for a year! Even if he`s good now you have to imagine Jack has some left over Master angst Before he did head over to the control The Doctor leaned down and kissed Jack's forehead. *gags* The TARDIS also made a plush comforter appear at the end of the couch. Useful that too
"Jack, before you fall asleep, and I can tell your tired, Unlike people who fall asleep when they`re wide awake why don't you get changed out of your tuxedo," prodded the Master gently. Ah a gentle prod.
Absently Jack stood up and stripped off everything but his boxers before laying back down snuggling into the Master's thigh as his pillow. They all chuckled at the sleepy Jack with no modesty. Imagine that, really, close your eyes and imagine those three chuckling at Jack with no modesty, and remember this is happy to be naked in front of millions Jack, sleepiness doesn`t suddenly make him lose his modesty The Doctor quickly put the dirty clothes down the laundry shoot. Then he covered Jack with the plush comforter and stroked Jack's hair. It took all of his strength to pull himself away from Jack and get to the controls. The Doctor smiled at Jonathon who was leaning against the controls just watching. Riiiight
"Sorry about all the drama Oh that is so nice, I was feeling a bit used, but as long as you realised what you`ve put us through that's happened since we picked you up. Now you have the option of traveling with us Doctor companion loop hole, if you have to suffer through drama you can go anywhere or we could take you any place you like. What's it going to be?"
"I'd like to travel with you all for a while at least. Don`t you love the lack of info he gets pre-decision? I love how he agrees to travel with a crazed threesome including one absolute girl. I sure as hell wouldn`t. Not even daily hot sex shows would get me to agree to travel with these three. There's a lot more I could learn traveling with you then I ever could back on Earth going to college Are we sure about that? for again and again. For again and again? By the way Doctor, I think your answer machine is beeping again," Has this person never noticed how all of the TARDIS blinks? Jon pointed in the direction where they had received Jack's message. You mean Colorado?
"Oh dear, your Okay maybe alternating between your and you`re would be less annoying correct." The Doctor quickly moved over and picking up the headphone listed to the message. I remember when the Face of Boe used psychic paper to get in touch with the Doctor, that was cool. This, not so much. "Damn, guess I know where are next two spots are at least." Quickly the Doctor typed everything into the TARDIS and then shouted to them, "hold on everyone." What spots? Maybe he should have them looked at
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Is this a real line or not?
Within seconds the TARDIS was shaking and rocking before it landed with a heavy thud. That was a quick trip
"There that wasn't too bad since we just traveled across the ocean again, no time difference need this trip." First time took longer than a few seconds, we had to read crap dialogue while they traveled The Doctor glanced over where The Master was sitting and saw that Jack was sound asleep. He nodded that they would be fine and to stay put. That is one hell of a nod He opened the TARDIS door and was surprised when a person quickly ran in and slammed the door shut again locking it. Hell I`m surprised, that is one hell of a parking job since I`m guessing we want this person
"Hurry Doctor and get us out of here before they start shooting!" Yup, right person...wait shooting what? But even as the words were spoken the TARDIS was already taking off. Great plan that
"Don't worry, I thought we might need a quick exit and had the next destination already programed Really, programmed is Canadian? to start the second the doors re-locked." So he was planning on having the TARDIS leave without him? Or was he going to leave the door unlocked?
Taking a deep breath the man set down his back and took his hat What hat? off to rub his forehead, allowing his face to be shown. That was hideous...
"DANIEL!" I`m sure I`ve read worse Deus ex Machina, I just can`t think of them
The man's head jerked-up and his jaw dropped before he ran over and hugged the younger man tightly. Jonathon was shocked to see to Daniel Jackson in the TARDIS and hugging him. I`m shocked and I knew he would be in this story Part of him wished that his older self had made a move on the Doc since they last talked, but another part of him kinda hoped his older self hadn't, so that he could go after the Doc himself. That would be my first thought, totally...Actually it was going to be my last thought but this is, mercifully, almost over
Okay prepare yourselves for yet another long weird one person speech, you know those things that have been infesting this fic instead of actual conversation that mean you have to picture the rest of the characters drooling or having some tea or something instead of replying? Course that might result in another hissy mouse fight so this might actually be fore the best "Jon! Your Oh thank goodness I thought we would have to suffer through re-checked fic. You`d think someone with this much trouble telling the difference between your or you`re would have like cheat notes beside her computer or would make a concerted effort to at least do a find search for all instances. Course that`s logic, something that has been missing in every aspect of this fic so maybe I am expecting far too much. alive and unharmed! Oh I'm so glad! I was actually contacting the Doctor to have him help locate you. Okay, this is a really stupid xover idea. Daniel knows a Time Lord and we`re supposed to believe that instead of using his magical Danny phone to call him when they needed to fix time (remember how reapers didn`t show up? That`s what I think of a hurdle to xover fic, laws of respective canons do not mesh. It would be like, having trouble thinking of a stupider example...Ah! DC Marvel xover, where we have to believe no one ever stumbled into each other ever before? I`ll think of a better one later) but we have to trust that he couldn`t call the Doctor before because of the NID and that they met randomly (after the clone ep so we can date it a bit) and it never came up WITHOUT the author saying anything. We know she loves author notes so she has no excuse to toss in a 'oh by the way Daniel and the Doctor know each other from here and he never mentioned it because, or the rest of the team knows but they don`t have his number, or in this world SG1 know about the Doctor and not Torchwood. Actually, that would be an interesting xover. Jack and the team going to London to help stop the Sycorax. Danny helping out the team trans something. He`s working on translating software with Toshiko and then Jack joins Torchwood. I`m just writing at this point due to fear of this massive paragraph btw. It`s not getting shorter though so I should get on with it Your Yup, still not checking a lot of danger on earth Even a basic read through should have caught that, course maybe she doesn`t want to read her fic, I totally get that feeling for a least a little bit. Here would be a nice break where someone could say something, or Danny could notice Jack`s weepy form on the magic couch. Say hello to the Master maybe? See, Sam asked Jack to start dating her now that he wasn't her commanding officer and she was 2nd in command of Stargate, but he turned her down. Is that how non-frat regs work? Just wondering While he was in DC a friend of his A his! So nice to see that in NCIS introduced him to their spunky lab mistress, Abby. Is there some kind of NCIS fandom reg that requires Abby to be called a spunky lab mistress? She and Jack are getting along wonderfully and have plans to move in together, Like for real `cause that`s not what I heard no marriage at the moment only because Abby doesn't like the idea. Great I was worried about that, we might have another crappy park wedding to attend Anyway, Yes please go on Sam was furious when she found out, thinking that their positions were the only reason Jack never made a move on her, What about that time he had that chick on the side? Or all of the times he really could have made a move on her? Or the fact that Jack retires at the drop of a hat? Sorry, I have enough respect for Sam I find this level of stupidity annoying never once thinking he didn't feel the same way. That bit And so Sam has kinda gone off the deep end and had a break from reality. Not another one...They should go pick her up, they could start a group. First, she had you declared as a non-person, Why would that be her first move? If I was in love with Jack crazy Sam I would have a nifty alien restraint and kidnap Jon so I would have at least one Jack, or move the fuck on which means you no longer have any protections Legal at least, I think being in the TARDIS is some protection and the NID can do whatever they want with you. How about the Asgard? Couldn`t help? Or is this post last ep? Course then they have tech right? Xovers with explanations of where all (OMG!) 4! universes are so nice, somewhere in that silly collection of notes, what spoilers for all 4 (and seriously, 4 chances and she`s screwed up 3 already, I dread Atlantis, it`s like a giant pit in my stomach) shows to expect. You need to lay low for a bit while people work on getting that reversed, Thank goodness for people should take a month or two at the most. That is the weirdest thing, reversing someone becoming a non-person takes at MOST 2 months. I would like to now point at Guantanamo bay, still serving prisoners without any rights. Then this morning she came and tried to get me to sleep with her in return for more funding for my department! Right, back to the story...uh huh...couldn`t this be alternate universe Sam? As if I'd ever whore myself out like that! Yeah...you tell her Danny I immediately filed a complaint Might want to check for parasites, or aliens, or replacementness, typically drastic personality changes in the SG universe have something to do with that. Unless this makes sense? Have I just not been paying attention to Sam? and then called the Doctor Who I met at....musecon? after finding out about the your non-person status, but apparently Sam had my phone lines tapped. Of course... She showed up just moments ago with a warrant for my arrest for committing treason Wow! Treason is a useful plot device, I think I`ll toss it in a few times the next I write something without any real plot, might help. and consorting with enemy combatants! What enemy combatants? That's why they were going to shoot at us. Riiiiight I'll give Jack a call in a few hours to see what progress is being made on relieving her of command and reversing all her insane decisions. Not that important to call him about leaving on a time ship or letting him know my phones are bugged But it was suggested to me by Teal'c Shout out baby! of a place to send you if I could get to you in time Jon. Still not a word about Jack? Master? Anyone? While you've been out of touch not only did we find Atlantis, send a team there, Wouldn`t Teal`c suggestion bit a little less Doctor dependent? Wouldn`t he suggest a scout ship and a trip to Chulak or something? Or is Teal`c code for 'voice in Danny`s head that just thought of it while he`s been talking? find new enemies and defeat them for good, I`m not sure if the note about Atlantis become perfect at the top or this one was lazier. but they have set it up like a colony with a constitution and everything. Wow all of Atlantis and Earth ooc in one swoop, nice. If you set foot on there and ask for sanctuary then they'll grant it and you'll be protected That`s nice of them because they won't send anyone back to face death unless it can be proving Wait, is this someone who`s not a native English speaker? Would explain a lot. they've committed horrendous acts against humanity. How about light treason? And everyone knows that won't apply to you!" Yeah everyone everywhere rambled a nervous Daniel Jackson. Mentioning that it`s rambling by a nervous character is not an excuse to not write a character properly. "So, Doctor, can you take us to Atlantis in the Pegasus Galaxy?" Uh huh...well...I guess 'Atlantis is in trouble and I need a lift', would be too 'cliche'
"Not a problem, Super terrific! the TARDIS is already correcting the path and were on our way. So the Doctor usually does all that complicated manoeuvring just to show of, I knew it! I'm glad I could be of assistance to you and your young friend. Again, isn`t Jon older than Danny? I ran into him while eating ice cream in the park last night. Remember the ice cream? That was great...semi-happy ice cream...good times... Saved him from those NID guys you were talking about. I`m starting to think they worked for Jon`s pimp. Now Daniel you look exhausted, Hell I`m exhausted after that thing come with me and I'll show you a guest room that you both can rest and catch-up in." Breakfast stops serving at 9, call 5 to reach the front desk for room service. The Doctor quickly lead them down the hallway Please get them away from us quickly without anyone saying anything! It won`t help, I know you`d think it would, but if they don`t leave right now another rant thing might pop up! and into the nearest guest room. He hid a grin as they smiled nervously at each other before he shut he door.
Lube is on the table on the left, oh wait, are we supposed to figure that out yet? It is pretty subtle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Maybe that`s what wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff looks like
Heading back to the control room and The Doctor after messing with the controls, I`m starting to think I`m right about the non-native speaker thing, or maybe blindness, can`t see what she`s typed? making the trip take a bit longer than normal, but at least it would be smoother, Why? walked over to the couch and sat down next to the Master. Oh goodie they`re still here, no, not goodie, oh hell we really are up to 5 chances for ooc-ness Reaching out to stroke the sleeping Jack's hair gently, Wait, he slept through that? Lucky. Course you`d think Danny would notice, ask, or at least try to not wake him up. he rested his head on his lover's shoulder. I would want to find out which lover but I bet it would make it worse.
"We are going to a familiar spot, the humans are calling it the city of Atlantis in the Pegasus Galaxy, `Cause that`s it name, yeah? but we know it as Pegasus Getaway Resort and Relaxation Spa. Atlantis becomes a spa? Wait, why is the human name for Pegasus sticking and the Ancient name for Atlantis not? I had completely forgotten it was still standing after all this time. So familiar not the word for it, unfamiliar spot? Couldn`t you just go back in time to visit? Wait, if it becomes Pegasus Getaway Spa and Dude Ranch doesn`t that mean it`s still around for a while? Hasn`t he just said he remembers that? Or did it used to be a spa? An ancient spa, totally can see that. It will be interesting to see what the humans have done with the place I hope they`ve added a rock climbing wall, I love those. and what they've managed to figure out. That`s actually the opposite of interesting I'm sure our room will still be safe though." Which room? For what? From what? Huh? The Doctor kissed his lovers cheek Two lovers with only one cheek between them, that`s kinda a weird though. before snuggling into his side again. By the way Danny is....I`m going to guess, a Time Lord! That`s right isn`t it? Bring in the points bitch!
"Your right, *snickers* You are not right, unless we`re talking about his right side it will be nice to see that place again. Wonder if the city has been talking to the humans Oh God no... or has stayed silent since I doubt they have the right genetic structure. Please let them have the wrong genetic structure... Maybe this will be a good place for Jack to relax at too. To start to heal from his stupid Torchwood people. They`re total buttmunches You do understand that we aren't letting him leave this time, Um...okay... even if I have to chain him in the wardrobe closet, he's staying with us!" Be afraid Jack... be very afraid...
"Hey, don't I get a say?" spoke a sleepy Jack from his spot on the Master's lap. Don`t say anything he`ll kill you and chain you up somewhere!
The two TimeLords I gotta imagine TimeLord isn`t in any spellchecker unless you add it quickly looked down at him worried that he would figure out his evil plan to what BETA! he'd say and worried about how he was feeling. I`m worried that Jack has been castrated
Slowly, Jack sat up looking at the two of them and then took a deep breath before speaking. Oh come on, we were almost in a conversation, don`t ruin it! "Guys, I'll stay, don't worry, He lived through, WW1 WW2, starving to death, being held prisoner by the Master for a year all by himself, but now the Doctor is worried not like I have any place I need or rather want to be anymore. And going to what is known to humans as the lost city of Atlantis Wait, when did he wake up? sounds both very exciting Spas are always exciting and relaxing. Apparently since nothing interesting is going on in Pegasus Now as to this connection I'm feeling between the three of us, Yeah, about that I just want to take things really slow since my heart is still going to be healing for a bit. Bullshit I do really appreciate all the patience and caring you've both shown me." They`ve been nice to him for how long? `Cause I have yet to be overwhelmed by their patience and caring, I mean they`re being nice and all but still Jack crawled back into The Master's lap sideways but his legs laid across the Doctor's lap. Again, torturing some for a year tends to ruin that whole happy trust thing they have going on, unless they had missing time together, which could do with some mentioning
The Master just smiled and moved the comforter so that it was covering Jack again. Is it possible to make that sentence more ooc or more sickening? "Jack, would you rather go lay down in a guest room? There`s mints on all the pillows or we`ve given up on capitals, that`s comforting even our room instead of the couch?" The Doctor stroked Jack's leg gently under the comforter. *twitches*
"No, I don't want to be alone right now I might start killing myself and I know you both need to stay in here during flights. Total lie the Doctor just walked away! I'll be fine, really."
However, just as Jack spoke the TARDIS decided it wanted one of her favorite boys to be more comfortable. I guess it`s lucky the TARDIS doesn`t talk With a little manipulating she made a large platform appear off the side with railings on it, can't have anyone falling accidentally when they are half asleep, I should say 6 ooc characters and there was also a door that lead directly to a bathroom so they wouldn't have to do a long walk. Hey look! Tooth and Claw, I liked this ep, fun to rewatch Then in the middle of the platform she placed the Doctor's and Master's bed, after changing the sheets which they had forgotten earlier to do! I`d love the Doctor and Jack in Scotland together without their fake accents, or just John and David talking proper This way her Jack could rest but still be close to his protectors, plus that way the Doctor could focus on flying and not be worried about Jack in another room. They could wear kilts too She hummed with happiness now that her Jack was back, Same Jack 'she' flew to the end of the universe to shake off? he would help balance the two TimeLords Please someone get it right! and hopefully prevent them from breaking-up, cause bad things always seem to happen when they do, The TARDIS is deep but really they need a third person to help mediate things. I don`t mind threesomes, I love a good threesome actually, when it becomes a 'if you`re not in a threesome you can`t be happy' it gets irksome Jack really was the perfect guy, he understood the darker tendencies Wait, decimating the planet is a tendency? in The Master and the heroic tendencies in The Doctor, 'The Doctor' has his share of darker tendencies plus he was basically immortal, He is immortal, fact of the universe.. so know having to watch their lover die. Just Jack watching them time The TARDIS was also excited about going back to the city in the ocean, maybe they could play a game of chess again, that had been some of the best competition she'd ever faced. Oh God no... Chess is the best thing they can think of...they talk...oh God, so not amusing... Lighting up the platform and bed the TARDIS let the boys know about the changes she'd made for them. Wasn`t the suddenly appearing bed enough of a warning?
Jack, Master, and Doctor all looked over at the beeping and lights the TARDIS was flashing in shock but quickly grinned in happiness. Still not amused It was obvious she approved of them together and was working to make things easier for them. Their most pressing problem is finding a bed? Wouldn`t going to Atlantis faster let them go to bed together to? Jack reached out and stroked the TARDIS walls in gratitude before standing up on his shaky legs. Why are his legs shaky? The Master just shook his head and quickly swung Jack into his arms bridal style Told you Jack had turned into a girl before carrying him up the small stairs to the bed. Couldn't 'she' just morph the couch into a bed? Or she couldn`t have just made a bed to start off with? The Doctor quickly pulled the sheets back for the pair and smiled glad that his TARDIS had thought of such a nice solution. Bet 'she' loses at chess The Master quickly laid Jack down before stripping down to his own boxers and quickly jumped into the bed, Why is he wearing boxers? Wouldn`t being naked make just as much sense? the air was chilly on all that bare skin. TARDIS can`t heat up the air? The Doctor looked at the clock and decided he had time so he stripped down to his boxers also. Again, what`s up with the taking lots of time? If he can fall asleep while they`re travelling, why doesn`t he take Jack to their room? Then he climbed into the other side of the bed so they sandwiched Jack between them, I love the idea of Kung Fu English monks, totally worth the silliness the Master and the Doctor holding hands on Jack's stomach. Complete saccharine A moment later Jack laid one his own hands a top the TimeLords Tiny TimeLords? on his stomach. Wow it got worst Placing kisses on either side of Jack's face, and worst the TimeLords Wasn`t it Time Lord for a while? purred softly in contentment. They then grew cat ears and vaginas Drifting off to sleep Jack smiled at the feeling the warmth their bodies gave off, along with the feeling of safety. Wolf on the roof! The TimeLords I`m sure there was a Time Lord followed Jack not to BEEEEEETAAAAAAAAAA long after into sleep.
The TARDIS watched over her three boys and knew to wake them when they got close to the city, Why? but in the meantime she dimmed most of the lights in the control room. The TARDIS apparently can take care of everything by herself, useful that
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Never been so happy to see a weeble line in my life
End SWEET! Part 1Oh fuck no!
Thanks for reading my fic and please leave a review, *blinks* seriously? You want reviews for that? they do help feed the muse. Damn! I don`t want to feed the muse, starve it! Staaaarve it! I should have either another story No, really? or a new chapter in one of my WIP Is that one wip or more than one wip?? posted this evening or tomorrow morning depending on my internet connection. When did archives start having weird comments like this? I remember when fic archive posts didn`t have things like this. Why or why didn`t I appreciate it? For the next couple of days there should be a story or chapter update a day Which works only if we`re reading this on the right day, yeah? because I've got several on my computer close to publication. No you don`t, seriously, you don`t Also if anyone want to beta this fic let me know. I think I just did...fuck Thanks and take care. An apology would be nice here
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